Where is your beauty... On the INSIDE or the OUTSIDE?

     What's behind the Gloss and Glamour? When you take off your makeup and look in the mirror what do you see? I remember doing this exercise a long time ago in college. When I looked in the mirror I began to cry at what I saw, because I did not recognize that person. I saw all the friends that I hung with and folks I admired and tried to be like, but I couldn't find me. I was cursing up a storm, drinking, smoking, wearing skimpy clothing and walking with a "this DVIA is better than you" attitude. Who I was being was making my spirit restless. I became depressed and wondered how to fix it.
      What did I end up doing? I separated myself from the clicks I hung with and began hanging out with myself. I went grocery shopping by myself and even to the movies by myself. I also got rid of the cheap makeup and clothes my friends picked out for me. I even combed out my hair of curls and brushed it into a ponytail until I could figure out the way I wanted it styled. I went to different church services as my friends, so I could pay attention and not have to join in their laughter while listening to them pick on other members in the church. I decided to explore the world for myself, rather than the world within my friends. I wanted to know what true beauty felt and looked like.
      I turned on the radio one day and I heard the sweet sounds of India Arie. Her music felt so different from what I was use to listening to. I began to smile and sway my head to her melodies and realize that I was beginning to feel what it was like to be "happy" on my own. So, I decided to listen to Rock and Pop music and saw that I liked that too. I opened myself up to more Gospel and contemporary music and even found a love in Jazz and Blues. Who knew that I didn't have to go anywhere to find happiness? It was in me this whole time. I just couldn't see it over other people's images that was attached to me. Once I stripped myself of their image, I found mine. I began going clothes shopping and to restaurants by myself and whatever made me smile, I grabbed. Whether it was a pair of heels, some Timberland boots, a knitted hat, or loose jeans, I grabbed it. I also went to the beauty shop and sat there for a while looking in hair magazines that didn't include celebrities. I found a hairstyle and ended up cutting my hair, that once flowed down my back, really short and LOVED it. It was easier to manage and once again, made me smile! I also, went to the MAC counter and let them do my face different ways and found makeup colors that I liked. I then began to notice my friends asking me makeup questions. Kinda funny... I use to follow the trend and now I am setting a few.
       So the question remains.... Where is your beauty? Is it on the INSIDE or the OUTSIDE? My conclusion is, once you find it on the inside, it shows on the outside. God Bless...

-Blu Artistry